questions about living in the UK

For my first five or six months in the UK, I had a rough time. My routine was two buses to work, a nine-to-five job, the gym, two buses home, dinner and a little television. On weekends I worked on a distance-learning college course. I did eventually get the hang of life here, but enjoying it didn’t happen immediately.

Ten years later, England feels like home. When people ask whether I’m staying forever, though, I don’t have a neat answer. Feeling settled, changing the way I speak and becoming more confident haven’t removed the difficult part of having my friends and family in Canada.

Watch my questions and answers about living in the UK.

Has my accent changed?

My voice changes depending on who I’m speaking to. With a British person, I drift into something a little more British without making a conscious decision to do it. When I go back to Canada and talk to my mom or my friends, the Canadian voice comes back.

I think my everyday cadence and word choices sound more British than they did when I moved here. I don’t think I sound British, but I can hear a difference. It isn’t a voice I’m deliberately putting on.

Understanding everyone else has had its own surprises. When I first arrived, I struggled with a lot of accents. After a while, I became more confident, only to pick up the phone and speak to someone from a different part of the UK. Suddenly I felt as if I knew nothing again. Getting used to the voices around me didn’t mean I’d got used to every regional accent.

Did England make me more confident?

I had anxiety in Canada too, and I wouldn’t say England has something that Canada doesn’t which made it easier for me to go out alone. My channel gave me a reason to try. I wanted to make more vlogs, visit museums and do touristy things, so the prospect of making a fun video helped push me into doing them.

I wanted the confidence to visit a museum by myself. That didn’t mean I stopped being anxious before the trip, or stopped feeling embarrassed about filming. I still get anxious. I’ve learned that I can do it scared, then discover that nothing terrible happened and try again.

For me, there hasn’t been a perfect moment when all the anxiety disappeared. I can go out and enjoy myself while still feeling it. That’s what has changed, rather than the anxiety vanishing entirely.

What does my routine look like now?

Adventures and Naps became my full-time job, which was never the intention. I started it as a creative outlet and an online diary of my life here. Sometimes the work still feels unreal when I’m sitting by myself in the living room filming, until a viewer comes up in person and tells me they enjoy the videos. Then I remember there are real people on the other side of the camera.

Compared with those first months, I’m much more confident and settled now, so comparing the routines isn’t entirely fair. I work every day, but that’s my choice. I can decide when to film, edit, prepare videos and do the rest of my life admin. I love having that control over my schedule, and I know going back to a conventional nine-to-five would be difficult.

The channel name came from wanting to show the whole picture of living abroad. A friend suggested Adventures and Naps, with adventures for the exciting parts and naps for the boring or negative parts. It started as a writing project, and I didn’t want to pretend everything was wonderful.

What do I miss about Canada?

At first, I missed everything, including my car, routines, food and the life I knew. Over the years, I’ve fallen in love with life here. I enjoy historical pubs, countryside walks, museums and the architecture. Even after ten years, showing my mom old buildings and going to a historical pub together can make it feel a little like living in a movie. Embarrassing to admit, but true.

The thing I can’t recreate here is having my Canadian friends and family nearby. My family would rather I lived in Canada, and choosing to stay in England carries guilt. I would like to be with them too. I can’t be in both places at once.

Moving back wouldn’t simply reverse the trip I made ten years ago. I’d have to think about work, my possessions and my partner’s move as well. Starting over isn’t impossible, but it is scary. I don’t know where I want to spend the next fifty years. In this part of my life, I’m happy here, and that’s the answer I have.