don't move to england

Moving from Canada to England was one of the best decisions I’d made, but I didn’t want my videos to make it look easy. In the reflection I shared in April 2021, I’d been living in southeast England for five years. Some of the things I wanted to talk about were things I’d learned the hard way: adapting, feeling uncomfortable and finding out that previous experience didn’t guarantee an easy start.

A fresh start could sound wonderful in films, television and social media. A change of country hadn’t left every problem behind. I dealt with anxiety in Ontario, and when I moved to England, I brought it with me. The new adventure was real. So was that part of my life.

Talking about differences wasn’t the same as living with them

I loved comparing cultures on the channel. Sometimes I’d explain how something worked in Britain and get comments calling it stupid, inefficient or old-fashioned. But when I turned the camera off, I still had my actual life here to live. I tried to adapt to how people spoke and interacted, and to the social norms and expectations around me.

That was important to me. I didn’t want to be the person constantly saying that my country did everything better. I would have expected someone moving from Britain to Canada to be willing to adapt as well. I loved talking about differences, but I didn’t want to insist that my country’s way was better every time.

There was an awkward balance in it. I was Canadian, and I didn’t want to change who I was or pretend to be English. At the same time, I lived in England and wanted to act respectfully here. I described that tension as a bit of an existential crisis: trying to fit into the society around me without acting as though I was somebody else.

Feeling awkward was part of it

I thought a big part of moving abroad, especially at the beginning, was accepting that you wouldn’t immediately know what people expected. The unwritten cultural norms weren’t something you could pick up all at once. Being outside your comfort zone could be awkward, embarrassing, exhausting and anxiety-inducing. My view was that doing your best had to include accepting some of that discomfort.

One example I gave was a workplace where you might be the only person from your country. People might not have met somebody from there before, which could make you a novelty. That was a possible situation I wanted people to think about, alongside not understanding every social expectation straight away. I thought willingness to go with it mattered, even when the situation felt strange.

Doing things alone was another part of that willingness. Of course I hoped people could make friends and have somebody to go out with, but I didn’t think life should wait entirely for that. A cinema trip, a cafe, lunch, a castle or a day out could all be things to do on your own. In my view, refusing every solo outing meant missing out on too much of life here.

Experience didn’t make me a shoo-in

When I first moved, I’d been quite naive about getting a job. I applied for roles I’d already done in Canada, below the level I’d been working at there. I thought that experience would make it easy. I was here with permission to work, I’d done those jobs before, and I expected to be a shoo-in. I was rejected for all of them.

That experience was behind my warning about being prepared to fight for a job. I thought expecting some difficulty could help with the sting of rejection, even if it didn’t make the process easier. It hadn’t stopped me loving life here. Moving to England remained one of my most treasured experiences, but I wanted to talk about the hard parts alongside it.

I kept coming back to an open mind: being willing to try things, handle some uncertainty and accept different ways of saying things or interacting. I didn’t think either country’s way of life had to be wholly right or wrong. I was grateful for the opportunity to be here and for the wonderful things I’d experienced because of it. That gratitude didn’t make the move easy, and I didn’t want to suggest that it did.

Watch my original video about what I found difficult about adapting to England.