british culture

I’ve apologised to door frames and mannequins at the mall. If I bump into something, apparently it gets a sorry whether it’s capable of hearing me or not. That part of British life was easy for me to understand as a Canadian.

Other habits took more getting used to. In my May 2025 video, I made a joking list of things Brits think should be illegal, from failing to offer tea to being in everybody’s way. These were complaints and social rules, with wildly exaggerated punishments. I wasn’t proposing an actual criminal code for your living room.

Offer the tea, even if they won’t drink it

The offer matters. A friend, your landlord or a plumber comes through the door, and you ask whether they want a cup of tea. Even if you know they’ll say no, you’re still meant to ask. I found that strange at first because tea wasn’t part of my everyday life in Canada. I didn’t drink it, and neither did my parents.

The biscuit opinions were easier. I love shortbread, especially for dunking in coffee or tea, and a chocolate digestive is also a very good biscuit. Rich Tea is the exception to my enthusiasm. Deliberately leaving a biscuit in the cup until it falls apart is another matter entirely. Why would you want to do that?

The greeting “You alright?” still felt unnatural to me after years here. In Canada, someone asking whether you’re alright usually means they think something might be wrong, and they expect an answer. In the UK, I hear it as a casual greeting, closer to “Hey, what’s up?”, with “Yeah, you?” doing the job. Understanding that doesn’t make it feel completely normal in my mouth yet.

The clothes and the big light

Some of the list came from discussions in my online chat room, including people lounging at home in jeans. I was wearing jeans while filming, but I argued that filming didn’t count. If I’m editing at my desk all day and know I’m not going out, I’m in sweatpants, pyjamas or other lounge wear. I don’t want jeans involved.

The big light was another point of discussion, although I wondered whether that was more of a millennial preference than a British one. I find the main overhead light harsh for sitting in the living room. We have little lamps and cheap floodlights for diffused light instead.

Those habits are much less serious than my anxiety about arriving at the right time. I don’t want to turn up early, and I certainly don’t want to be late. If somebody plans a gathering for noon, appearing at eleven or arriving at twenty past twelve both feel wrong to me. There’s a very narrow window in which my brain wants to operate.

Please let people off the train

I sold my car in 2020, and by the time I filmed this I had relied on buses and trains for years. Blocking the train doors while other people try to get off drives me insane. I stand to the side until they’ve left, then get on. Being the person trying to leave while a family stands directly in the doorway is deeply annoying.

I also had a bus journey to work that involved two buses. On some evenings, after a long wait, I’d get on a fairly empty bus and somebody would choose the seat right beside me, then start talking. There were other seats. I knew I was in for an adventure that evening.

I like London’s escalator habit of standing on the right and walking on the left, and I wish people followed it in more places. The crowds on the Tube make its usefulness obvious to me. Outside London, seeing someone stand on the left at a shopping centre can still annoy me far more than it probably needs to.

I understand the tourist, but I need to get past

I’ve been anxious about reaching a medical appointment in London on time while people stopped in the middle of the pavement to look at buildings or their map. I do sympathise. It might be their one chance to visit London, and they want to take it all in. I’d just like them to move to the side while they do it.

Volume was something I had to adjust myself. I noticed I spoke a bit loudly when I first moved here, and I remember feeling embarrassed by an American friend’s loud voice in a quiet public place. That wasn’t a statement about every American. It was one outing where everybody else was speaking more quietly.

There are habits I still find odd, but apologising to inanimate objects and getting irritated when someone blocks a train door are already well within my abilities. “You alright?” may need a bit more time.

Watch my full list of British social offences and exaggerated complaints.