The first five months after I moved to England were horrible. I often call them my five months of living hell, because so much was unfamiliar at once: finding work, getting around, knowing what to buy and trying to feel comfortable somewhere new. When those months ended, I didn’t suddenly become settled at the flick of a switch.

By the time I answered questions about moving to the UK in May 2022, I had been here for six years and felt much more grounded. I still had bad days. What had changed was how capable I felt of dealing with them. Looking back, the things that helped were often quite ordinary, from practising with my suitcases to getting used to the bus journey home.

I practised packing before I moved

I bought two huge suitcases after checking what my airline would accept. Then I actually practised packing them. I’d put everything in, weigh the cases, discover they were too heavy and start taking things out. It was a repeated process of packing, unpacking and deciding what I would really use, because I didn’t want to pay a lot in extra baggage charges.

When I moved, I brought those two cases, a little rolling carry-on and a purse. Whatever didn’t fit didn’t make the cut. I didn’t ship furniture or big items; I bought the remaining things I needed in the UK. That was my approach as a young person moving on my own, rather than a plan for a whole family bringing their household with them.

On my first trip back to Canada, I took quite an empty suitcase so I could bring more things over. After that, what I had was what I had. I had to be brutal about the initial packing, but that first return visit gave me a chance to collect some more of my things.

A temporary job became something longer

I wasn’t coming to England to work in one particular field. I needed a job, and my first one came through a temp agency that was trying to fill a position at a local college. The contract was only for three months. I wasn’t getting other jobs at that point, so I took the chance.

Every three months, the college renewed it. Before I knew it, I’d been a temp worker in that position for a year, and then the college hired me as one of its own employees. That was how I got my first full-time position there. A temporary role won’t always lead to something else, but in my case it did. It got me through the door when I needed work.

Settling in happened gradually

One memory stands out from those early months. I used to commute by bus, then walk home after getting off. One day, when the weather was quite nice, I noticed that I didn’t feel as stressed as I had been. It wasn’t a declaration that everything was suddenly fine. It was a small turning point in how I felt.

Having a routine made things more manageable for me. There was somewhere to live, work to go to and a neighbourhood I was getting to know. Over the years my routine changed, but I felt more settled here. I still had difficult days, although by 2022 they felt less about being a foreigner and more about the bad days that happen in life.

For someone still trying to find their footing, I suggested making a routine even before getting a job. Get up at a regular time, spend some time on applications or a CV, have lunch, and go for a walk around the neighbourhood. Later there could be dinner and a call with family. That was my suggestion for giving the day some shape, rather than waiting for employment to supply all of it.

Even buying groceries took practice

Grocery shopping caught me by surprise. At home I could do it almost on autopilot, because I knew what products looked like and which brands I liked. In England, I found myself going up and down every aisle, picking things up to read them. I didn’t know which products I preferred or what I was looking at just from the packaging.

That became easier with time. By the time of this account, I could pop into my local Tesco and knew where things were, what brands I liked and which products I preferred. I hadn’t expected something as ordinary as shopping to need that much getting used to, but familiarity came through doing it.

I still loved buying food and drink I’d never tried before. Even after six years, I was discovering things I enjoyed. Being comfortable with my usual shop didn’t mean I wanted to stop experimenting. There was room for both the familiar favourites and another taste test.

My advice from that experience was to be patient and kind with yourself while things are unfamiliar. I needed time, and my first months were difficult. Building a routine helped the days become more manageable, and eventually more fun and exciting, even though it didn’t remove every bad day.

Watch my full questions and answers about life in the UK.