I tried Jeremy Clarkson’s Diddly Squat Farm food | is it worth it?
I went into this taste test with one rule: I was judging the food, not Jeremy Clarkson. I know he is a divisive figure and I know his farm shop has a lot of hype around it, but I was more interested in whether a pile of biscuits, crisps, jam and piccalilli would actually taste good.
The answer, annoyingly for my budget, was mostly yes. In this taste test, I found some genuinely lovely things, but a lot of them sat around the four-pound mark. That made the question less “is this good?” and more “would I buy this again when I could get something similar for less?”
The biscuits and crisps were good, with one expensive exception
The honey and oat Diddly Dunkers made a very strong start. I liked the simple packaging, the substantial size and the fact that they had enough flavour that I did not feel the need to dunk them. At the filmed price of £4.90 for 12, they were not cheap biscuits, but they were crunchy, flavourful and a six out of six-and-a-half jars of honey from me. I would happily finish the box.
The sausage and mustard crisps had a great potato base and a proper crunch, but the mustard was a lot. If you love mustard and ham, they may be some of the most flavourful crisps you have had. For me, the flavouring tipped into too much, and £4 was hard to justify for one bag when Tesco had plenty of good crisps for far less in my filmed comparison. They were good and expensive, which is a very annoying category of snack.
The lightly salted version was the clear crisp winner. They were properly salty, a bit oily and exactly the sort of simple crisp I can eat without getting bored. Still £4, though. I would buy them as a treat, especially on sale, but not often enough to pretend that price does not bother me.
The shortbread was where I drew the line. It was nice buttery shortbread, but it did not taste noticeably different from the many good shortbread biscuits already in the UK. At the filmed £4.90, I could not see the point. It had not reinvented shortbread, and thankfully nobody needed it to.
Blackberry jam, cider and very good chocolate honeycomb
I chose blackberry jam over strawberry because strawberry felt a bit too normal. It was chunky, sweet and a little tart, with the bits and pits that usually make me choose smoother jam, yet I thought the texture worked here. The jar was another £4.90 in this taste test. It felt expensive for jam, but it was a big jar and I thought it tasted good enough to earn eight out of nine-and-a-half pieces of toast.
Hawkstone cider was a much easier decision. I tend to order cider rather than beer, and I liked that this one was sweet and a little tart without becoming sickly or over-flavoured. At the time, I paid £2.95 for a 500 ml bottle. That was a bit much for one drink, but not unreasonable, and I would buy it again.
The chocolate-covered honeycomb, called Little Turds, was also lovely. The name is doing a lot, but the packaging was memorable and the actual snack had milky, creamy chocolate around a crunchy centre. The chocolate had softened because I had left it out of the fridge, so I thought it might be even better chilled. At £5 it was the most expensive thing I tried, but this was another product I could very easily finish without noticing.
The piccalilli was the thing I did not expect to love
I had never encountered piccalilli in Canada, at least not in my family, so it still feels very British to me. I normally like it mixed through leftover Christmas mashed potatoes or on a pork pie. This jar was much thicker than the version I was used to. It was not a loose sauce. It was proper chunks of vegetables, and I tried it with a pork pie from Tesco.
I was surprised by how much I liked it. The flavour was incredible to me, and I ended up thinking it might be my favourite thing in the whole video. The jar listed British vegetables including cauliflower, courgettes, green beans, onions and carrot, with mustard and vinegar in the mix. It cost £4.90 in the filmed taste test, the same as the jam, but this was the one where I was happy to pay it because I wanted to use every bit of it. Ten out of ten Piccadilly Circuses. Yes, I know.
My verdict on the Diddly Squat range
I came away genuinely surprised by the quality. Everything I tried was good, and the piccalilli, honey and oat biscuits, cider, honeycomb and lightly salted crisps were things I would be pleased to eat again. The shortbread was the only real miss, simply because it did not give me a reason to spend more than I would elsewhere.
That said, the price kept returning as the main issue. These were treats for me, not everyday cupboard food. If you are buying because you want to try a British celebrity food range or you fancy something a bit different, there are some excellent choices here. Start with the piccalilli. I still need more ways to eat it.
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