anxiety as an expat

Not knowing my way around a new area was one of the things that made me anxious about living abroad. I didn’t know where things were, how to get to them or how the roads connected. When I shared my experience in June 2021, I’d recently moved to another area in South-East England and was facing that uncertainty again.

Going for a walk gave me a way to start learning the place. I could listen to music or a podcast, get outside and explore where I now lived. That helped me feel more secure and more at home. It was one part of how I looked after myself as an anxious Canadian living in England.

Looking after myself took effort

People had asked how they could live abroad when they dealt with anxiety too. I didn’t have a simple answer, and I wasn’t a professional. What I could share was how I dealt with my own anxiety. I tried to think about my mental wellbeing in the same way I thought about my physical wellbeing: I had to actively do things for myself, rather than just hope for the best.

For me, those habits mattered whether I was in England or back in Ontario. Changing countries didn’t mean my brain would stop being stubborn. I knew I needed to pay attention to how I felt and how I treated myself, wherever I was living.

Sleep and food were part of my routine

I love sleep. I could probably sleep almost anywhere, at almost any time, but I tried to keep a decent schedule. I went to bed and got up at roughly the same times on workdays and weekends. Staying up until 3am watching television or scrolling through social media wasn’t something I thought benefited me.

I also noticed a connection between what I ate and how I felt. When I ate lots of processed food, ready meals or takeaways, I described my brain as getting angry. I tried my best to eat well, while knowing that some days were better than others and I couldn’t beat myself up over it.

The appetite part was awkward too. Being anxious could mean not feeling like eating, and I thought about eating regularly as well as what I ate. These were ordinary things to pay attention to, but they were things I tried to do for myself.

I made time for things I enjoyed

Sometimes a hobby was as simple as sitting at my desk, putting on headphones and listening to a podcast or a new album while colouring. Yes, I was a grown woman with a colouring book. I found it relaxing and enjoyed it. I also liked video games and going for walks, and making time to unwind with those hobbies was helpful to me.

I thought shared hobbies could be useful for people trying to meet others in a new country. I suggested things like a board-game group or book club, where someone could do an activity they liked and meet people at the same time. I also acknowledged that putting yourself out there could be awkward and anxiety-inducing at first.

Learning the place where I lived

When I was feeling particularly low, I could often look back and realise it had been a while since I’d exercised. I didn’t mean a huge run or an intense workout. I liked walks, and being outdoors was another thing I found helpful. Combining that with exploring my new area suited me.

The familiarity mattered. Knowing how to reach the grocery store or post office, finding parks and getting to know the local pubs helped me feel part of the area. I wanted to feel that I lived there and knew the place, instead of always feeling like a foreigner who didn’t know where to go.

I still needed to take those active steps for myself. I didn’t have one easy answer for everyone who wanted to move abroad while dealing with anxiety. This was how I tried to make life in my new home feel calmer, and how I looked after myself when I was back in Canada too.

Watch my account of being an anxious expat.